I should Check this More Often!

wow,

I have been on here since September of last year. Well let me start off by saying I am starting over and that means everything. But I am okay with that, Since September I have dyed my hair twice and the first time Jenny from the block did it and it was a great job done by her. Now its like a reddish color something I thought would be adventurous for me. Coming in April I will be relocating don't want to say where yet but I am looking forward to the change and hoping for positive outcomes. I am still in school and I am doing very well, I must say. All A's and B's. I have about 10 more courses until I receive my bachelors degree in Psych.. Once I get that degree I was thinking of attending LaSalle for Graduate studies. We will see though. Just hoping I don't get ahead of myself. Wow it was great posting something real quick. I should check this more often.

Bye for now.

real quick

I haven't been on here in a minute, but I am about to start back with school and I am very anxious and nervous all at the same time.. I just wanted to say something and I hope all my ppl are doing well.

cya.

Citation at 7:30 in the a.m.

There is nothing quite like seeing the flashing lights in your rear-view mirror first thing while you're rushing to get to work.. Okay, so immediately I pull over to the side. The Officer gets out his car and mumbles "License and register please." I had already begun fumbling through my purse for the following items. I then find everything requested and hand it to the officer. He proceeds back to his vehicle. 2 minutes later another squad car pulls up. Wow, I didn't know a 100 pound women with two kids in the back seems so threatening. Oh did I add he never stated why he pulled me over in the first place. Well thank God for bluetooths, I was able to talk on the phone while I waited because you know the two officers began to have their on conversations that consisted of laughing. Sidebar- I don't know why they think we got all day to sit in a car and wait patiently for them to really do their jobs. So I decided that since they are enjoying each other's company, that I should call my work and let them know I will be running late for work. Yes I hate being late! Then I called my husband and my dad. After I hung up with everyone the police officers decided to do their job again and proceed back to my car. What I thought was so entertaining was one officer stood on the passenger side, kind of near the rear doors, holding his guns as if he was ready to pulled them out if needed be and the other officer approached my window to tell me why he was giving me a citation at 7:30 in the morning. Oh and I hadn't drank of cup of coffee yet so I roll my window back down and he says I got a ticket for being in a left turn only lane and proceeding to go straight and he also states that I can fight it if I like. If he felt that way why even give me the ticket in the first place. All in all, this screwed up my morning and I am trying to get back to that happy place. Lord please allow me to move forward and have a productive day without bringing others down. So I decided that in all fairness I am going to fight this ticket. First of all, its too early in the morning for these type of shenanigans. Now I sip on my coffee and try to have a good rest of the day.

The Lord will provide the Dance!

So this past weekend my husband and I took our kids to Calvary Assembly for service. We had such a wonderful time in the Lord. Some point through the service a praise dancer came out and as she began to prepare for the dance my heart began to race. It took me back to my dancing days at Calvary Baptist as well as outside of Calvary with good friends and then to PBF dance ministry. The zeal for dancing has never left my side.

Well for the past couple of days, I have been thinking of a song that God placed on my heart and I can feel the dance inside me. However, I immediately get scared thinking of doing this dance by myself. What if I look stiff, or what if I look like I don’t know what I am doing, or worse what if I just look plain stupid. Then I recalled that this ain’t about ME!!! I had to keep telling myself that. The song “Already here” by Brian Courtney Wilson is such a powerful song that I know would speak to others.

Each day we all go through stuff in our life and we become so dependant on our own strength to fix the problem and put our God right on that self while we just try to figure it out on our own. That is not what he wants us to do. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord, with all thine heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths.”

Now back to this dancing thing, I don’t know what the Lord wants me to do, who to do this dance with or even what moves to do. However, I know my God is able to provide all of those answers. The funny thing about service on Sunday, as I was talking with one of the hospitality members I told her how I really enjoyed the dance selection and told her that I used to do dance at my former churches. She told me that the dancer was a guest at the church and that she would love to see me minister to dance. Now wait, I don’t know if that was an outlet from the Lord telling me to step out on faith and dance again or what, but I know I want to dance. Not sure if he will have me dance at that church or another, but I do know that the Lord will provide the dance! I know he will provide the venue. Lastly, I know it will be in his timing that all these things come to past. So with that, I put aside my fear and wait on the Lord because I know he is Already here!!!

Facebook!! To have or not to have..

So just recently I had this strong urge to deactivate my facebook account. I mean I didn't do much on there but meaningless discussions. None of my topics were really there to encourage or support others. I also would read a lot of statuses about I am going to the mall, brushing my teeth or so on (just examples_. The question is, what was I really fascinated with by those statuses? I think I used Facebook as a temporary filler for the things that was not present in my life. I guess filling a void and I know the only void filler is Jesus Christ. Praise God.

Each day, I would wreck my brain trying to think of a status that would make others want to respond. I was looking forward to dialog with others, and I have to admit I found that. I think I was covering up a piece of sadness with facebook. I spent so much of my time checking my status, commenting on others statuses and even to the point where I would check it on my phone every 5 minutes. I guess you could say I was a facebook addict. I was looking for those real talk discussion that made people drop their mouths. I didn't care what others thought about me, I just wanted them to add their two cents.

Now I arrived at the stage where I am saying, how important is facebook? Is it more important than my family needs, my own needs, do my "facebook friends" really care about what's going on in my life? Or is everyone saying things they think will get others attention. Just a few moments ago, before I started this blog, I went to reactivate my facebook cause I thought I was missing something and when I got on I seen the same stuff. That's when I first realized I was trapped. Trapped behind living my life through a social network. what happened to people enjoying their lives outside of the computer. How genuine is computer conversations? Is it more genuine than actually conversing with others over the phone or even in person for that matter?

Lastly, I realized facebook was becoming a stumbling block in my walk with the Lord. I would wake up each morning and immediately check my facebook. I can't say the same for opening up my Word or even praying to God. So I guess my prayer is that I would substitute this time that I had open for facebook for the love of Christ and for my family. I am asking that God be my void filler and not a social network that can constantly let me down.

PS. Thanks for those who take the time out to read my blog and comment. I look forward to your response and your thoughts. Or even if facebook has ever been a stumbling block in your life.

Dawn

Does anyone read my blogs???

I was sitting here, thinking and I was wondering does anyone really read my blogs. I don't write as much because I feel that no one really reads the thoughts that take place in my head. It's not like I share a lot in the first place. Do you believe a blog is a place where you can express your deep feelings, angers and happiness or is it really just a waist of time? If your out there and if your reading let me know.

thanks..

a inconsistent blogger..

Fear

So as I was finishing up a test, I was thinking what was I so fearful of? Did I not study as hard as I should to cause me to have such strong anxiety? Or was it the unknown of how I would do on this test? In our everyday life, a lot of things transpire through our mind and we worry about things we should not be concern with. So I pose a question, is fear a state of mind? I know that God didn't give us the spirit of fear, but yet we posses it. Why? Sin? I would believe so. How can we counter our everyday fears? Or is fear and anxiety two different things? I was just wondering what other people thoughts are about this.