So just recently I had this strong urge to deactivate my facebook account. I mean I didn't do much on there but meaningless discussions. None of my topics were really there to encourage or support others. I also would read a lot of statuses about I am going to the mall, brushing my teeth or so on (just examples_. The question is, what was I really fascinated with by those statuses? I think I used Facebook as a temporary filler for the things that was not present in my life. I guess filling a void and I know the only void filler is Jesus Christ. Praise God.
Each day, I would wreck my brain trying to think of a status that would make others want to respond. I was looking forward to dialog with others, and I have to admit I found that. I think I was covering up a piece of sadness with facebook. I spent so much of my time checking my status, commenting on others statuses and even to the point where I would check it on my phone every 5 minutes. I guess you could say I was a facebook addict. I was looking for those real talk discussion that made people drop their mouths. I didn't care what others thought about me, I just wanted them to add their two cents.
Now I arrived at the stage where I am saying, how important is facebook? Is it more important than my family needs, my own needs, do my "facebook friends" really care about what's going on in my life? Or is everyone saying things they think will get others attention. Just a few moments ago, before I started this blog, I went to reactivate my facebook cause I thought I was missing something and when I got on I seen the same stuff. That's when I first realized I was trapped. Trapped behind living my life through a social network. what happened to people enjoying their lives outside of the computer. How genuine is computer conversations? Is it more genuine than actually conversing with others over the phone or even in person for that matter?
Lastly, I realized facebook was becoming a stumbling block in my walk with the Lord. I would wake up each morning and immediately check my facebook. I can't say the same for opening up my Word or even praying to God. So I guess my prayer is that I would substitute this time that I had open for facebook for the love of Christ and for my family. I am asking that God be my void filler and not a social network that can constantly let me down.
PS. Thanks for those who take the time out to read my blog and comment. I look forward to your response and your thoughts. Or even if facebook has ever been a stumbling block in your life.
Dawn
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Yes. I completley understand yuor situation. On one hand I feel like i want to keep "in touch" with these FB friends, some of whom I dont get to (or maybe don't want to) communicate with in person..Some may be people I see everyday, people I havent seen in years or those I have never met... It just feels right to try and be "available"...While on the other hand I ask myself how well I actually know this person. Is what they write what they mean...are they really living life like its golden or are they on the verge of suicide... its hard to determine, because that genuine communication is not present...sometimes its even hard to decipher sarcasm from love... Sometimes I just sit back and read people's statuses over a course of a week, two weeks, a month..I don't respond, but I try to guage how gunine that person really is... do their beliefs (proclaiming one religion or faith) align with what they speak, act, and so on... is there contradiction. is there hate. is there really any "friendship"... Sometimes I so much time inboxing, or writing on the wall that I forget how to hold a real conversation... you know its bad when you inbox your husband instead of walking into the other room to just say it to him...smh... I dunno, Dawn. Facebook is becomming passe. Its fun, but I dont take it seriously. Honestly, FB has made me much more skeptical of peoples realness. I always find myself asking "how many people on FB would you really consider Friends".. and astonishly the number is really really low... when I consider how many I would actually hang out with for an evening, the numbers are even lower...let's not even talk about the numbers that I would introduce to my children as my friends... in a time when I'm trying to teach my children to choose their friends wisley, it seems as though I've failed to do the same. Most of my friends on FB do not represent who I AM.. we share almost no common bond..They dont REALLY know me...but (and there's always a BUT)I crave connection, and intimacy...however being burned so many times by people I considered friends (everything from talking about me while I'm standing there - in pig latin, to mistakingly including me on an e-mail that I wasnt supposed to see)I use FB as a way to keep people where I want them... I figure I'll "piece mail" you the information I WANT you to have/know. I'll refer to my kids as Kid1, & Kid 2, because I dont deem you "worthy". I reply in one liners, because I I dont really care for you in the way I may present... Yes FACEBOOK is my WALL. it allows me to have "friends" but on MY TERMS.
ReplyDeletewow! Yeah, I know.. I know exactly how you feel... Sorry for the rant, I had no idea this much was on my mind...
p.s. when I say/write "you", please know that I am not talking/referring to you directly...
I definitely feel what you are saying. It's so easy to get caught up. I'd be on my phone at work checking people's stuff and trying to see who was commenting on my stuff and really just getting carried away... The first thing I was crazy about was the whole FARMVILLE thing. I thought it was so cute and cool...then when my oldest son started playing, I think I got upset cause I just wanted to have that all to myself! I know that just sounded very immature, but it is what it is. But the good thing is it lost it's luster and I am no longer bound by it. I am presently in a disabled status.
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